So, I realized something about myself. It's kind of disconcerting. I don't know what to do with myself if I'm not in pain, I feel delusional, empty. Maybe it's the reason why I do alot of things, I think I feel like I can't feel emotions if I'm not in pain, and maybe if I'm tired. Am I self sabotoging myself to think I'm doing better for myself? I don't even know. We live in a sick twisted world, don't you think?
