Let Me Be Your Savior.

Everyone loves the act of being saved. Having your love one's come and gather around you. Love overwhelming you. That choking bittersweet haven. Five million emotions controlling your every vessel. It's exciting, thrilling, and lucrative. You actually feel something.

But for those who crave that feeling, usually being the case they don't have love flowing constantly, they don't understand what they do to those who've grown to love them. Yes, being in the act of new salvation is... Amazing. But to the savers/saviors, It breaks the heart. Mending is almost not an option.

I know it's so hard staying saved, feels... uncanny. Love always feels like it has waves. It doesn't. Our emotions get the best of us, even when we don't have emotions.

"My cheatin' heart"

Okay, so what's been on my mind?
I'll let you have it :P

I have been thinking alot about people cheating. I left on the TV, I believe Oxygen, and Desprate Housewives came on. I wasn't totally watching or paying attention, so it just played. I got the gist of it though, and the one lady was cheating on her husband with some guy she hired or something, I'm not sure, I don't watch the show, lol. I was disgusted by the matter because it's not like it showed her cheating in bad light, it was funny, comical, and "delightful".
I wanted to post something about it on facebook, but I know people who watch the show, and I don't like that sort of attention. And I am sorry if I offend you, please don't get deffensive? Thankyou. Now, anyways, I was coming home from... Target, that's the place, lol, and I heard this song by... Enrique, and... I forgot who else. But anyways, I like some of Enrique's songs so I decided to sit and listen. What do you know? I heard something like "Your boyfriend's out of town" and "My girlfriend's out of town". I was sitting there thinking, really? Why do we encourage this?
Now I know not everyone thinks that it's okay. I do, I just think that singing that is retarded. You know guys are singing them to girls, whether or not they do have a girlfriend, she has a boyfriend.

I have never been cheated on, and I'm really sorry for those who have. Truely. But it's media like this that helps the growing rate of cheaters. I'm kinda like, would you really like it if your significant other does it to you. No, you would be heartbroken, even if you wouldn't like to admit it.

Sorry to be so brutal in the matter. It sickens me. Now I must clean. Cleaning sickens me too :P lol

Loveyou : ]
Kiwi Lee

Flashlight and the sun.

Okay, so I'm back : ] lol. Not that you missed me. lol

Okay so I'll start with wedding details. Since I left you in a lurch, lol.
1)place: Sanchez House : ]
http://www.sanchezhouseweddings.com/

2) Wedding Dress: Fabulous!
http://www.unique-vintage.com/sale-ivory-taffeta-silver-lace-wedding-gown-p-2965.html

3)Guest list: made.

4)Invitations: Photobooth madness.
Perfect for me and "mr. dinosaur's" personality.

5)Reception food: Tacos?
I wanted something cheap, and didn't want burden any of our parents to do the cooking. I can just brown the beef the night before and cook it on low in crock pots.

6)Date: My birthday?
The only thing that's iffy is that it's on a weekday. Tuesday. Though that will cut down on attendance (because we're technically over the est. number of people). I think we'll make it work. We still need to go down there.

Other than the little things, I don't know what else needs to be planned. I have the girls picked out, He has the guys. My youngest sister and my best friends little brother, are going to be mini bride and mini groom. My sister doubling as a "flower" girl, though it's not going to be flower petals, it's gunna be glitter lol. And yes I am sorta stealing the J & K dance thing. We're doing Diamonds by Breathe Carolina. I like the not having all the attention on me thing. Mmm, let me see if there's anything else, hmmm. We're shopping for table toppers at the dollar store. Cake? mmm I have a feeling the cake's going to be thrown at me. The theme is seaming like it's going to be Spanish themed. I am Spaniard, so I think it fits. Mmmm. That's all for the wedding. Ideas are always welcomed. I don't want a usual wedding. Oh and if there's more I need to worry about, feedback, feedback, feedback.


Now for those who know me, I am not engaged, officially. This may seam strange to you, though the course of my entire relationship is not exactly normal either. So I'm sorry if you can't comprehend it. Yes, he does know about the wedding, he's been right beside me step by step in planning. The main thing that's "holding" us back is the ring. We cannot afford a ring. So an idea has been proposed. Get me a cheap ring until he get's out of bootcamp, and go ahead and make it official. I'm not sure if that's what should happen or not. I suppose that I'll just see what God says. One reason I do want to hurry and be engaged officially, is because I want to give my great grandpa (papa) time to be able to get his bearings to get out here. Plus, technically we are. So who knows what will happen.


Okay, so finally... outside the wedding.
I dislike summer. I want all the kids to go back to school. I hate the way they drive, and their stupidity. Yes, I do realize I am still I teen, at the age of 19. But, I do not like the way most teenagers act, two-faced, lyhing, imature, annoying, rude, the list goes on and on. If I offend you, I am sorry. This is reality.

I saw Killars today, loved it. It was so random, perfect for me, lol. The movie's love for mustaches, astounded me, lol. Ashton Kutcher doing a mostly serious role? Pretty darn good. I don't care for Katherine Heigl though, sorry.

Ancestry is kicking my butt! I can't get any further than what I already have. It's hard because I only have 1-4 generations in the states (including my parents). One line is indian, hard to get any info on them. And back then all dark skinned people were called mexican! Ay ay ay, Dios mio. Another line came from spain. Then you have german and indian in 2 lines together. It's confusing, and my family has all this drama that I try not to ruffle feathers, it's hard. But yeah I can't do anything until I sign up for world. *sigh*

Well I suppose that's it for now... again ideas, feedback, more than welcome. I hope people start reading some of this stuff, it'd be nice. lol

-Kiwi Lee

New start, new ideas.

Okay, so I think I'm going to officially go ahead and really start using this thing. So here I go. I'll be keeping this updated with how my life is shaping up to be, wedding plans, and life.

So you saw that I said wedding plans. I am not officially engaged, but we're going to be as soon as "Mr. Dinosaur" gets into the military and goes to boot camp.
We pretty much have the date, the place, my dress, and the people all clicking together. Of course we're prepared to accept that what we're thinking the time is going to be could not be matching God's time. So that's ccovered.

Food. It's an issue. I have no idea what food will be prepared. Tacos was a thought, I'll be entering the details of what we have on here soon. I just can't do it now. But it's an spanish theme that seams to be taken place. So I'm just kinda wandering, waiting, for everything to be put together.

Waiting is hard, but I keep telling myself, God is waiting on me, not the other way around : [
Alright, so I must go now. Cook dinner lol.
Loveya,
Kiwi Lee

My Birthday!!!!

Sims 3 Exspansion pack


MAC


Money


Clothes

Christmas Wish List.

*sings* Targetttttttt


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I feel like a broken record... the same place


Maurices... i just want heels with a rounded toe... not pointy


Forever 21 (you can click on the pic)


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Control.

I was watching this movie, and this dad was so controling over his son. I started to think about people who do that, including what I do to control people. We as individuals hate to be controlled, no? So why do we do it to others? It only makes them resent use, push us away, rebel. Now in some cases I've seen control and they don't do what I listed above, but they become dependant on that person. It normally ends up with them trying to get the controllers apporval, and ends in heartbreak.

But for those who resent us, push us away, and rebel. They build up anger start controling what they can, which can lead to abusing themself, not just physically, mentally. I can feel their rage build.

If you love that person so much, wouldn't you do what you could so they wouldn't do these things to themselves? Prevent that from happening? Or would you throw your nose in the air pretend it's not happening and keep charging?

I think we see the right answer, but so many look up so they can't see the mess they're creating. Someone brings it up and they walk the other way. Why don't they want help? Pride. Selfishness. Embarrassment.

I see this happen to people around me, whether I know them or not, I see it. It saddens me. I know that part of the control is because of a domino effect... they couldn't control someone, so they control that person, that person controls someone else because the other person controls them.

Open your eyes. Look at what you control. I know it's in everyone. Let go. Calm yourself. Collect yourself. Grieve. Start over if needed. Then walk out of the hall of control, take the nearest exit. Apologize. Walk away. Pray. Bring the inner streangth He gives you to the surface.

We can all do this. We have to choose to do this. Don't roll your eyes at this. You know exactly what this is reffering to in your life. Stop hiding. It's getting you no where but to have no one to turn to to give advice. Because you'll be the leader in which you've started your village. the King has no one to turn to because he is the highest in authority. Didn't even think of having God to turn to, not when you started getting the army you control. Because when you control, there's no place for God. You leave Him behind, but expect Him to pick up those other little things.

You think, "oh I can get these huge reigns, God, would you mind getting those couple of little ones? Thanks." You'll just get pulled into the freezing snow trying to figure out what had happened. When you know what happened, you just lift your head a bit higher so you can find someone else to blame.