Outcast.

It's really hard when your "friends & family" start to... can't think of the word right now... but basically stop wanting anything to do with you. I mean they sat there and trashed the others for not being family... but yet they are doing the same thing. It's amazing how you can trash other people for things but then not much later you end up doing the same thing. I guess that's where you have to be careful of not judging anyone, or condeming anyone. You'll get tested with the same thing.

Another problem I'm having is feeling like... oh well I don't have that problem I'm glad he talked about it so he can be speaking to others. No, God speaks to us in each message we here, I believe. Whether you know what they've already said or not. We're not spiritually a know it all just because we think we worship different "deeper" or because we've heard all this and that, or because we believe we think we read our bibles more understand more or worship and spend time with God more. It MIGHT be that you do, but honestly your heart (as church service said last night) your heart is the gateway to your soul. It's the heart that counts. They could be yearning for God. Just doing what you think you should doesn't reflect on the heart. I hope I'm making sense.

I'm so frustrated and feel horribly, I feel like crap because i really only have two friends who will talk and hangout with no strings attatched nothing but truely hanging out with a friend. Plus my allergies have flared... first cold couple of days and I've been miserable. I'm going to the fair today so i took two allergie medicines and..... yeah.... hopefully I feel great... and i don't spend too much money.