Stress is a vibrant blue.

Okay, so, I was hoping to just continue the (give a name, yourself, of what I previously wrote here) or whatever you want to call it. But right now I really don't feel like it. I'm very stressed. Here I will spill all of it, to a certain extent. I feel like certain people are being fake, and to be totally honest with you only one of them I feel bad for. I'm missing the love, I'm missing the point. I feel so lost and confused. I feel like I can't hear God's voice and it's frustrating me. I feel like it's impossible to resist temptation. Yes, I have done it before, but in the big of it all. It seams lost. I feel powerless, now this is where what I read from 'The Shack' comes in. I need to stop being the one to control things, because overall it's not my job to control, and I never do have complete control anyways. *rolls eyes*. I need a car, and really badly. I need money, really really badly. I feel like I need it all at once. I don't but it really is bugging me and tugging at me weighing my mind. I love my best friend (my little papaya) she keeps reminding me i'm weightless and free. I wish it was as simple as that. I wish I could stop wanting to go the other way. What is freaking wrong with me? Why would I want to go that way? Stumble deeper into the darkness? Making it worse for me. I'm going to post my "testimony" soon. I'll start on it tonight, hopefully I won't chicken out. I am strong in Him.