Christmas Wish List.

*sings* Targetttttttt


same


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I feel like a broken record... the same place


Maurices... i just want heels with a rounded toe... not pointy


Forever 21 (you can click on the pic)


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Control.

I was watching this movie, and this dad was so controling over his son. I started to think about people who do that, including what I do to control people. We as individuals hate to be controlled, no? So why do we do it to others? It only makes them resent use, push us away, rebel. Now in some cases I've seen control and they don't do what I listed above, but they become dependant on that person. It normally ends up with them trying to get the controllers apporval, and ends in heartbreak.

But for those who resent us, push us away, and rebel. They build up anger start controling what they can, which can lead to abusing themself, not just physically, mentally. I can feel their rage build.

If you love that person so much, wouldn't you do what you could so they wouldn't do these things to themselves? Prevent that from happening? Or would you throw your nose in the air pretend it's not happening and keep charging?

I think we see the right answer, but so many look up so they can't see the mess they're creating. Someone brings it up and they walk the other way. Why don't they want help? Pride. Selfishness. Embarrassment.

I see this happen to people around me, whether I know them or not, I see it. It saddens me. I know that part of the control is because of a domino effect... they couldn't control someone, so they control that person, that person controls someone else because the other person controls them.

Open your eyes. Look at what you control. I know it's in everyone. Let go. Calm yourself. Collect yourself. Grieve. Start over if needed. Then walk out of the hall of control, take the nearest exit. Apologize. Walk away. Pray. Bring the inner streangth He gives you to the surface.

We can all do this. We have to choose to do this. Don't roll your eyes at this. You know exactly what this is reffering to in your life. Stop hiding. It's getting you no where but to have no one to turn to to give advice. Because you'll be the leader in which you've started your village. the King has no one to turn to because he is the highest in authority. Didn't even think of having God to turn to, not when you started getting the army you control. Because when you control, there's no place for God. You leave Him behind, but expect Him to pick up those other little things.

You think, "oh I can get these huge reigns, God, would you mind getting those couple of little ones? Thanks." You'll just get pulled into the freezing snow trying to figure out what had happened. When you know what happened, you just lift your head a bit higher so you can find someone else to blame.

Self-Control.

Why is it that when we start using self-control in the areas we need it (i.e. getting off the computer at the proper time, and doing your chores), and then we start loosing self-control where we had it and very much need it (i.e. temptations)? It's very frustrating, learning a new trick just to forget your other one's. why cant I just read a book, say a prayer, and it's done?
My goal this week is to conquer both, at the same time. Lord, will I need prayer. I know I can do it. And that I'm capable of doing so.
OH! and why is it that you don't really want to do something but you do it anyways? Another frustration. Like watch something (not that it's bad, or I'm not suppose to be doing these things.) or play something, even though you don't really want to. I'm guessing it's ritual. Like I feel like I have to. It's weird, I've never felt like this before.
Sadly, It's as easy to say no as it is to say no. We just want what the temptation, so that bit of us that wants it, decides it.
I'm going to blog more often, it helps me. I need to get another video blog out. Not that anyone watches, but I enjoy it. Just like this. No one reads it, but I do it. I enjoy it.
Frustrated,
Kiwi Lee

so why are you going to cast someone out just because you dont agree with everything they say? how many times have you said something and not believed it?

have you every wanted more friends?its not that my friends aren't enough or w.e...but i want more variety...egh but these people dont just apear...unfortunantly

Listening to Freddy Mercury.

Every once in a while I think I'm lying

Take it to the bank, I'll believe every word I say
(This just isn't how, this just isn't how)

Then again this is when you start your prying
(This just isn't how, this just isn't how)

But there's a thought it could be true

But this just isn't how I imagined it would be
With these random people just asking the most personal things
And to think that somehow I could always come clean
And you shake your head just like you know what I mean

You're Christian, tell the sinner, to find repentance, it's your last chance
You believer, where's your patience?
Answer questions, put on faces
What about God?
(To see if it's right or wrong, to listen to this song, I don't want you too)
What about God?
(And see if you're okay with all the words I say; it can't be this way)
What about God?
What does it mean?
What does it mean?
For you and for me, what about God?
All have fallen short.

Somehow, someone's more equal than others

Depending on the words we choose to say

A glance at her too long tonight
But everything I'm saying's right in your ears
We are all the sisters and the brothers
Until we find we don't believe the same

Like...

Gary's getting drunk to forget Sarah
Sarah's stealing money from her parents
Aaron's lying straight to Jon about Megan and the things that went on
Jessica's a gossip, Laura's a slut
Derrick hits Bridget, Ben deals drugs
Seth spends all his money gambling
Joey stopped praying

It is all the same thing

We are all the same people
With sinning hearts that make us equal
Here's my hand, not words said desperately

It's not our job to make (Force) anyone believe


-Emery

Outcast.

It's really hard when your "friends & family" start to... can't think of the word right now... but basically stop wanting anything to do with you. I mean they sat there and trashed the others for not being family... but yet they are doing the same thing. It's amazing how you can trash other people for things but then not much later you end up doing the same thing. I guess that's where you have to be careful of not judging anyone, or condeming anyone. You'll get tested with the same thing.

Another problem I'm having is feeling like... oh well I don't have that problem I'm glad he talked about it so he can be speaking to others. No, God speaks to us in each message we here, I believe. Whether you know what they've already said or not. We're not spiritually a know it all just because we think we worship different "deeper" or because we've heard all this and that, or because we believe we think we read our bibles more understand more or worship and spend time with God more. It MIGHT be that you do, but honestly your heart (as church service said last night) your heart is the gateway to your soul. It's the heart that counts. They could be yearning for God. Just doing what you think you should doesn't reflect on the heart. I hope I'm making sense.

I'm so frustrated and feel horribly, I feel like crap because i really only have two friends who will talk and hangout with no strings attatched nothing but truely hanging out with a friend. Plus my allergies have flared... first cold couple of days and I've been miserable. I'm going to the fair today so i took two allergie medicines and..... yeah.... hopefully I feel great... and i don't spend too much money.

okay so can't write much but i'm sseriously so frustrated... and just want to scream... i'm ready to get out of here! *screams on the inside*

Stress is a vibrant blue.

Okay, so, I was hoping to just continue the (give a name, yourself, of what I previously wrote here) or whatever you want to call it. But right now I really don't feel like it. I'm very stressed. Here I will spill all of it, to a certain extent. I feel like certain people are being fake, and to be totally honest with you only one of them I feel bad for. I'm missing the love, I'm missing the point. I feel so lost and confused. I feel like I can't hear God's voice and it's frustrating me. I feel like it's impossible to resist temptation. Yes, I have done it before, but in the big of it all. It seams lost. I feel powerless, now this is where what I read from 'The Shack' comes in. I need to stop being the one to control things, because overall it's not my job to control, and I never do have complete control anyways. *rolls eyes*. I need a car, and really badly. I need money, really really badly. I feel like I need it all at once. I don't but it really is bugging me and tugging at me weighing my mind. I love my best friend (my little papaya) she keeps reminding me i'm weightless and free. I wish it was as simple as that. I wish I could stop wanting to go the other way. What is freaking wrong with me? Why would I want to go that way? Stumble deeper into the darkness? Making it worse for me. I'm going to post my "testimony" soon. I'll start on it tonight, hopefully I won't chicken out. I am strong in Him.

u ni ty /ˈ'yunɪ?ti/ [yoo-ni-tee]
–noun, plural -ties. 1.the state of being one; oneness.
2.a whole or totality as combining all its parts into one.
3.the state or fact of being united or combined into one, as of the parts of a whole; unification.
4.absence of diversity; unvaried or uniform character.
5.oneness of mind, feeling, etc., as among a number of persons; concord, harmony, or agreement.
6.Mathematics. a.the number one; a quantity regarded as one.b.identity (def. 9).
7.(in literature and art) a relation of all the parts or elements of a work constituting a harmonious whole and producing a single general effect.
8.one of the three principles of dramatic structure (the three unities) derived from Aristotelian aesthetics and formalized in the neoclassic canon in which a play is required to represent action as taking place in one day (unity of time), as occurring within one place (unity of place), and as having a single plot with a beginning, middle, and end (unity of action).

2 Chronicles 30:12 (New Living Translation)
12 At the same time, God’s hand was on the people in the land of Judah, giving them all one heart to obey the orders of the king and his officials, who were following the word of the Lord.
2 Chronicles 30:12 (New International Version)
12 Also in Judah the hand of God was on the people to give them unity of mind to carry out what the king and his officials had ordered, following the word of the LORD.

They wouldn’t have been able to carry out God’s plan without unity.

Psalm 133 (New King James Version)
1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell together in unity! 2 It is like the precious oil upon the head,Running down on the beard, The beard of Aaron, Running down on the edge of his garments.3 It is like the dew of Hermon,Descending upon the mountains of Zion; For there the LORD commanded the blessing— Life forevermore.

Psalm 133 (The Message)
1-3 How wonderful, how beautiful, when brothers and sisters get along! It's like costly anointing oil flowing down head and beard, Flowing down Aaron's beard, flowing down the collar of his priestly robes. It's like the dew on Mount Hermon flowing down the slopes of Zion. Yes, that's where God commands the blessing, ordains eternal life.
Psalm 133 (New International Version)
1 How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!
2 It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down upon the collar of his robes.
3 It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.

Psalm 133 (Amplified Bible)
1
BEHOLD, HOW good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!
2It is like the precious ointment poured on the head, that ran down on the beard, even the beard of Aaron [the first high priest], that came down upon the collar and skirts of his garments [consecrating the whole body].
3It is like the dew of [lofty] Mount Hermon and the dew that comes on the hills of Zion; for there the Lord has commanded the blessing, even life forevermore [upon the high and the lowly].

Think of living in a household with family. If all of you are at odd ends with eachother... how easy is living in one space with one another? How much stress and emotional complexity will there be? How are you able to keep the household running smoothly? So many fights would break out if there wasn’t unity. Without unity the house would become chaotic, and no doubt we’ll have a breakdown and do something unimaginable or we’ll nee some professional help :P
When your united with your family, there will be strength. You’ll love each other and help them with their weaknesses and hardtimes. It’s so much easier if we’d stop being selfish, mean spirited, judgmental, and hatefullness. Also God commanded it :P not an option if your following His word : )

John 17:20-26 (New International Version)
20"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23 I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. 24"Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. 25"Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."

John 17:20-26 (The Message)
20-23I'm praying not only for them But also for those who will believe in me Because of them and their witness about me. The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind— Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you, So they might be one heart and mind with us. Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me. The same glory you gave me, I gave them, So they'll be as unified and together as we are— I in them and you in me. Then they'll be mature in this oneness, And give the godless world evidence That you've sent me and loved them In the same way you've loved me.
24-26Father, I want those you gave me To be with me, right where I am, So they can see my glory, the splendor you gave me, Having loved me Long before there ever was a world. Righteous Father, the world has never known you, But I have known you, and these disciples know That you sent me on this mission. I have made your very being known to them— Who you are and what you do— And continue to make it known, So that your love for me Might be in them Exactly as I am in them.

So I pointed out why unity was important, and that God had commanded unity, but... we also have to put our differences aside, and not care about the differences that are in between us. I’m sure God doesn’t agree with everything we think we believe is right. After all we are all human. Just because someone believes something is different from someone else, doesn’t mean we leave them high and dry. I know it’s hard, I have sat there and thought ‘Is this person freaking crazy, or what?’. But I’m working on putting those differences apart and focusing on love and the plan God is having us carry us out. We all have the same command either way. (I.e. something we have in common)

Romans 15:5-8 (New International Version)
5May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
7Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. 8For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews
on behalf of God's truth, to confirm the promises made to the patriarchs


Romans 15:5-8 (The Message)
3-6That's exactly what Jesus did. He didn't make it easy for himself by avoiding people's troubles, but waded right in and helped out. "I took on the troubles of the troubled," is the way Scripture puts it. Even if it was written in Scripture long ago, you can be sure it's written for us. God wants the combination of his steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterize us, keeping us alert for whatever he will do next. May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all. Then we'll be a choir—not our voices only, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God and Father of our Master Jesus!

7-13So reach out and welcome one another to God's glory. Jesus did it; now you do it! Jesus, staying true to God's purposes, reached out in a special way to the Jewish insiders so that the old ancestral promises would come true for them. As a result, the non-Jewish outsiders have been able to experience mercy and to show appreciation to God. Just think of all the Scriptures that will come true in what we do! For instance: Then I'll join outsiders in a hymn-sing; I'll sing to your name!And this one: Outsiders and insiders, rejoice together!And again: People of all nations, celebrate God! All colors and races, give hearty praise!And Isaiah's word: There's the root of our ancestor Jesse, breaking through the earth and growing tree tall, Tall enough for everyone everywhere to see and take hope!Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!


Romans 12:4-6 (New International Version)
4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[a]faith.

Because we are all different, We think different. God made us this way for a reason. Our though processes are different, we perceive things differently.
I’m not condemning anyone, I’m speaking to myself on this one also. I started writing this thinking I’ve got it down to be honest. But as I started writing I started realizing who I leave out of the loop. They’re equal, no matter what they believe. We all sin. Even though Emery’s song (Listening to Freddie Mercury) is not about unity, it has the right idea.
We snub people all the time because of the certain denominations they are, but it’s not about that. It’s about uniting to fight the spiritual battle before us, this isn’t a divide and conquer. Now really think about it, drink it in, meditate on it. You might be surprised.